Friday, October 3, 2008

If It Bleeds, We Can Kill It

Over the period of time that this blog was inactive, a friend (Scott) and I made a curious discovery in the Granite Run Mall. On a whim we walked into the one store that has become the punchline of every scenester joke--Hot Topic. Inside, we found something... strange. Amazing, but still perplexing.

The reasoning behind entering the epitome of all trendy bullshit merits a little explaining. While sucking in almost every regard, there is one good thing about Hot Topic--band tees. There are a lot of cool band shirts to be had there, one in particular is a classic Misfits logo, but I digress.

Once inside, we both were confronted with the normal aesthetic and auditory torments that the store presents (bad tunes, and just offensive design and colors). Walking up and down the store looking up at the shirts, trying not to make eye contact with the clientele or pierced workers I decided that there were no shirts worth buying this time around. That's when it caught my eye.

An album on their new release listening station piqued my interest with it's garish and bewildering album art, which is pictured below. The band name: Austrian Death Machine, the name of the name of the album is Total Brutal. Intrigued, I picked it up and glanced at the back. First thing I noticed, was a sticker on the front attributing the album as a side project to the frontman of all Christian hardcore act As I Lay Dying. Instantly I resolved myself to hate this band, but fate had something else in mind. The tracklisting consisted primarily of lines from Arnold Schwarzenegger movies. A quick peak at the front sticker again revealed that the entire work was a tribute to the muscular one.

Laughing, I put the headphones on and hit play on the first track. I nearly laughed hard enough to vomit at the introduction, done entirely in a spot-on impersonation of Ah-nold. The album is sort of a throwback to 80s thrash metal, and never fails to beguile smiles with its Arnie gimmick.

When I got home, I simply had to have this music on my computer. It demanded to be heard and played over Halo matches. It is the greatest tribute Arnold will ever receive in my eyes.

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